Convenience or Commitment?

Do you agree with the two friends in this cartoon?  In a way, I see their point, but I don't agree entirely with them about friendship. I agree it is a blessing to meet a friend after a long separation and feel as though we never parted. That "feeling" is commitment––true friendship. But, three words stand out in this cartoon. Happiness. Feelings. Changed. Nothing's changed––so say the friends, but time does change things.

True friends accept the changes in us because they are committed to us. Friendship doesn't depend on feelings but commitment. Shouldn't we be changing daily? Isn't our goal to become more like Jesus? We all change––for the good and for the not so good. It's our choice. So what's the secret to lasting friendships?

Relationships will change over time. Hopefully, our relationship with God is changing––drawing closer to Him every day and becoming more like Jesus moment by moment. Change is good according to the Word of God. So why impede it? Probably because it's hard to change but easy––convenient–– to stay the same.

Human love is convenient. We choose our friends because they fit well with us. It's easy to be with them so it doesn't take much effort to enjoy them. It's convenient. It's comfortable. But is our friendship committed? Are we there for them when their lives change––for good or bad.

God's love is committed. His love isn't based on feelings, although He has feelings toward us. He decides to love us regardless of our actions. Do we choose to stay committed to our friends even when they change or their circumstances change? How do we choose to cheer them on and not leave them for more convenient relationships? If they move away, stay in touch. If cancer strikes, don't abandon them. Pray them through the hard times, and actively participate in their lives. It's not convenient, but we decide to commit to them. And, we shouldn't be absent when they succeed but celebrate with them.

Is there a moment in time when you move on from a friendship? Of course. If that friendship is destructive, by all means confront the situation, get help, and move on if it can't be resolved. God never intends for us to be abused––mentally or physically or spiritually. Seek help, don't stay if the other party doesn't change. We shouldn't stoop to their level, instead forgive them and walk away.  Paul moved on from a relationship that couldn't be worked out. It hurts, but God will fill the void.

I confronted such a relationship in my life. After many years of trying to work out an unhealthy relationship, I walked away. The person wouldn't come to the table to work it out. I chose to not allow it to rob me of my joy. I knew I had tried everything possible to restore that friendship. But, if someone constantly criticizes you, hurts you, insults you, or even tries to destroy your friendships with others, it's time to walk away. Don't let the relationship destroy you.

"Friends can destroy one another, but a loving friend can stick closer than family." Proverbs 18:24

There's the secret––a loving friend! A loving friend is a committed friend. A lasting friendship is the result of love and commitment. Happy friends. Yes! True contentment. One day, we'll meet our Best Friend face to face. Let's strive to be a friend like Him until then. If so, we'll enjoy heavenly friendships on earth––I'm blessed and thankful to have many of them.

How are your friendships changing? Do you choose your friends for convenience? Is it time to let go of an unhealthy friendship? Cling to the positive relationships––embrace, engage, and empower change.

Let's be a loving friend––a committed friend. And, let's learn from the Best Friend ever. He's committed! He never changes. He is our Best Friend Forever––literally!

Crying Horse ~ Laughing Cow

Our pony, Rocky is a mirror image of this poor guy stuck in the fence. Behind him stands a cow--we don't own one, but they're all around our property. Our neighbors are dairy farmers. We've seen cows, not horses, stuck in fences. We've helped deliver baby cows stuck in the birth canal. Being stuck is uncomfortable to say it mildly. Have you ever been stuck and everyone around you seemed to be laughing at you instead of rushing to help you? What an awkward position to find yourself. What happened to get you into that situation? I'm sure this horse has a tale to tell.

What's the horse thinking now? I should have known better.  How many times do we find ourselves stuck in a fence wondering how we got there? Probably like the horse, we ventured into territory we shouldn't have. Maybe we crossed the line between right and wrong or were tempted by the larger, greener field on the other side of the fence. Where are our friends when we need help? Are they laughing behind our backs or do they have our back?

Where am I when my friends are stuck? Am I standing behind laughing, or am I giving a push to help move them to freedom from their present problem, trauma, or life difficulty. If you are anything like me, I'm still learning how to be a good friend––sometimes I fail. When someone needs a push or shove, I want to be there cheering them on, not enjoying their predicament, condemning, or standing afar hoping someone else will step up to help or encourage them. I want to step up to the fence. It's a cruel world out there––you may have noticed. Are we adding to our friends' misery or giving them a push to the other side of the fence where they can once again begin anew, free from the fences that keep them stuck?

Do we jump up and down and yell "Yay" for our friends when they succeed? If not, we should be. Everyone needs cheering and shoving from friends who have their back––whatever their circumstances. 

Are you an empath? I am. I am able to tune into the emotional experience of a person. It brings me great joy to have this ability, but it also brings me great sorrow because I feel so deeply for my friends and even people I don't know well. Do you have friends who laugh when you laugh and cry when you cry? If so, you, my friend, are blessed. Are you that kind of friend? Let's ask God to help us be obedient to His Word that says, "Laugh with your happy friends, share tears when they're down. " Romans 12:15 (MSG) 

Let's stick together so we don't get stuck in a fence. 

Yawn for Your Brain

Go ahead, yawn. I won't think my blog is boring you because I know why you are yawning. Do you?

A yawn isn't a sign that I am putting you to sleep. Rather, it's a sign that your body is revving up your brain so that you can more efficiently process what I'm saying. It's actually the body's way of rejuvenating the brain so that it can function more effectively.

Research has found that yawning helps cool down an overactive brain as it attempts to regulate its temperature and metabolism. It helps us reset ourself. God has put a reset button at our disposal for our brain. He also has a reset button for our soul. We know what it is for our brain––yawning. But, what about our soul? How do we reset our soul?

It's a new year. A new beginning. Time to let go of the past and press on to new goals––maybe continued goals or even secret goals. I have a few of those myself but if I told you mine, then they wouldn't be a secret any longer.

The first few days of a new year it's easy to be revved up about our new dreams and goals or even continuing our old goals we put on hold. But, how do we pursue this journey throughout the year––maybe even years? How do we start, and how do we continue our journey to fulfill our goals––without giving up, and without burning out.

In my last blog, I challenged you (and me) to be busy––but with guidelines from God's Word. Now let's see how to be renewed so we are fruitful in our labors. Yes, a yawn to rejuvenate our brain helps reset us, but how are we renewed? How can we reset our soul? What's the reset button for our soul?

Press here...

Psalm 139:113 says, "You are my place of quiet retreat; I wait for your Word to renew me." Seems pretty simple––retreat to a quiet place, wait on God"s Word to renew us.

Reset: Yawn so our brains can rejuvenate and our bodies can reset––in other words, breathe deep, relax.

Retreat: Find a quiet place to be apart––revamp.

Renew: Be in God's Word and wait to hear His voice speaking to us––restart.

Result: "...And then take on an entirely new way of life––a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you." Ephesians 4:24 (MSG)

Go ahead, push God's reset button and be renewed to reflect Jesus––His character in us.

Jesus Said No

As we prepare to enter the new year, many resolutions will be made. Some people will vow to lose weight, some will join a gym, and some will promise to read their Bible daily and on and on. In our hurried world today, I imagine many will promise to not be so busy. I'm challenging you to be busy in the new year––not a resolution but a way of life. Did I hear you gasp at my suggestion?

Let's take a look at how Jesus spent His time. Do you think He sipped lemonade on a hammock daily? Or do you think He was busy?

Mark 1:21-35 is an account of a day in the life of Jesus. He began by preaching in the synagogue and while He was preaching He drove out evil spirits of a man possessed by them. Afterward, he went with James and John to the home of Simon and Andrew where He healed Simon's mother-in-law of a fever. Didn't He have a full day? I'd think He was exhausted from the day's activities and ready for a nice dinner, a bath in the river, and a time of relaxation. I would be.

I've had Sundays that resembled Jesus' Sabbath in a few ways. While in the States last summer, we always tried to avoid a very filled Saturday and then Sunday double meetings, lunches and Sunday night services also. But, sometimes it was unavoidable. So then what? Look at Jesus' Sabbath.

After His long day of preaching, healing, traveling and driving out demons, did He rest?  Mark 1:32 says, "That evening after the sunset the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. The whole town gathered at the door, and Jesus healed many who had various diseases." It must have taken Him hours to do all those things. I'm sure He went to bed exhausted and weary that night. Oh, but look what He does the next morning.

Mark 1:35 "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." After an exhausting day, you'd think He would have slept in a bit and had a leisurely breakfast. But no, He got up while it was still dark. He must have had a short night's sleep. But he still got up early to pray. He went to talk to God the Father. He took time to be with God. There is the secret of a busy life––taking time to be with God. Look what happens next.

Mark 1:36-37 "Simon and his companions went to look for Him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: Everyone is looking for you!" They were anxious but how did Jesus reply?

Mark 1:38 "Let's go somewhere else--to the villages nearby––so I can preach there also. That is why I have come." Another lesson from Jesus about our schedules. He said, "No." Sometimes we have to say no. But, He only said no after He prayed. After praying, Jesus knew what to do next. He wasn't swayed by those around Him who told Him what to do next because He knew what God wanted Him to do––why He had come––His purpose!

So be busy about the Father's work. Jesus was! We are all or should be, workers for Him, fulfilling our purpose. We will be tired, even exhausted in the work––Jesus was! Let's be like Jesus. After His exhausting day He rested, prayed, and then went on to the next thing on His schedule––the thing God wanted Him to do. When doing God's work, we are blessed to be busy!

The Gift of Ministry

My friends say I have the gift of gab. They interrupt me to interject a word here and there. While sitting at a friend's house last summer, I cringed when I heard her say, "She hasn't stopped talking since she arrived." But, not even that remark sealed my lips.

If you know me, I am sure you will think I am the world's biggest liar when I tell you I am an introvert. Yes, I am. When my husband and I started our deputation to head to the mission field for the first time, he begged me to speak in the churches we visited. I wouldn't even get up to say hello. Nope! I just couldn't do it. Now when we speak together in churches or speaking events, he asks if I could please sit down and give him five minutes to speak.

Last summer while in the States, we were invited to join a Sunday School class outing at a local restaurant. What a special night I thought––just a part of the gang. How sweet to invite us to fellowship with them. We were all savoring our desserts when one gentleman in the group announced the speakers for the evening. Guess who? We had no Bibles with us, no notes, and certainly no warning that we were the speakers. My husband got up and spoke for ten minutes, I followed. An hour later, I ended––with a lot of laughs––and enjoyed every minute! What caused this metamorphosis?

I still love to be alone, read, ponder, and be quiet. Maybe because when I am with people I never shut up. The truth is, I love both extremes––being alone and being with people. A gift! I believe so!

And the special gift of ministry you received...keep that ablaze! God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible. 2 Timothy 1:6-7 (MSG)

There it is! The change! God's gift. I can't hide it under bushel, no! With God's help, I am using the gifts He gave me. I've seen Him do amazing things, and I can't keep quiet. He enables me to do what I can't do without Him. My friends have watched this metamorphosis. I've become bold when I speak about God and sometimes that may scrape like a fork on a plate to some. Sometimes I do need to pull back. But, do I keep quiet when God wants me to speak? I hope not.

However, am I loving and sensible while being bold? I strive to that end. I never would have imagined that I would one day love being in front of an audience. Maybe God saved that gift for me until I was ready for it–-in His timing. To be shy about it would be disobedient at this point in my walk with Him.

When we use the gifts that God has given us, we find that God will give us the power we need. The gifts are not for us, they are to build up the body. They aren't for us to say, "Look at me," but rather, "Look at Him." What gifts has God given you? Are you using them?

Are you blazing? Let's be bold, loving, and sensible––using the special gift of ministry we've received so others can see the flame within us and want what we have––the Savior!

Ordinary People ~ Extraordinary Friends

I am blessed with true friends. But, in an imperfect world--including the Christian world––we are hurt by friends. I've been hurt, and I guess maybe you have too.

There are many varieties of friends. Some stay forever, some just pass through your life for a season. All are a blessing or a lesson. Some tell you how to pack your bags while true friends ask how they can help pack your bags.

Which friend do you prefer––the teller or the asker? What if a friend insists on telling me how to pack my bags to return to Bolivia having never been there? Is that friend concerned about my needs or just opinionated––even in things they know nothing about? How do you react to such a friend? Maybe you have them! Maybe that person needs a true friend to learn how to become one. Can I be that friend? Can you?

"An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgement starts quarrels. Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions." Proverbs 18:1-2 (NIV)

I don't want to be unfriendly, do you? But we all have our opinions. If we daily become more like Jesus, can't we become extraordinary friends by seeking God's mind before speaking instead of blurting out our opinions?

I have friends who are extraordinary, and I've seen them do extraordinary things for God and me. They bless me, and they teach me how to be a true friend.

"A friend loves at all times..." Proverbs 17:17 (NIV) I am a recipient of that love and friendship. I see Jesus in those friends whenever I am with them. They are always willing to sacrifice for others, and they radiate with the love of God. Oh, to learn from them and have others see Jesus in my life as I see Him in theirs.

When we arrived in the States last May, we had an apartment waiting for us. An old friend offered it to us free of charge. He said it needed to be cleaned because the previous renters had abused it. We expected to do the work it needed and eventually furnish it with the necessary things to make it livable for our five-month stay.

Two of our extraordinary friends picked us up at the airport at midnight and drove us home. An hour later, we climbed the 20 plus stairs to the apartment we'd call home for the next five months. We were prepared to live with the basic needs for such a short time period––a bed, a shower, and a microwave for the few meals we'd be eating on our own.

We opened the door. A cute little lamp shed a soft glow around the room. A cinnamon scent filled the air. We walked into a cozy room filled with furniture, curtains, and even decorated with adorable wall hangings and twinkle lights. We searched for words––I am never speechless––but none passed our upturned lips. We walked around the apartment taking in the incredible scene of hard work by extraordinary friends. The couple with us (extraordinary friends also) allowed us to drink in the moment. Kitchen fully equipped––cupboards filled with food, dishes, silverware, and basic needs in the frig. Bathroom––everything we needed, even toothbrushes and cleaning supplies and creams, shampoos, and candles and lacy curtains. Bedroom––a bed with a beautiful comforter and curtains to match and oh, did I mention, dressers, lamps, and even an ironing board and iron. Plus wall hangings, so cute and handmade with love.

We returned to the living room and noticed one more detail previously missed. If you haven't shed a tear yet you will now, get your tissue. Above the couch, a wall hanging made of an old window frame, just adorable. But wait, there are photos hanging by clothespins on twine in each windowpane. They are photos of our grandkids, our kids, our animals, and even a few of our ministry. I felt warm, moist drops of joy fall over my cheeks. We were home!

Who does this sort of thing? Extraordinary friends! They are ordinary people who are extraordinary friends. I am learning to be a friend. I may be an ordinary person, but I want to become an extraordinary friend. I have the best example to follow. His name is Jesus. I see Him in the acts of my extraordinary friends.

What kind of friend are you? Will you strive to be an extraordinary friend?

Perfectly Seasoned

I'm experiencing furlough withdrawal and culture shock––especially stressed with the task of daily cooking again. Gone are the days of whipping into McDonald's or feasting at a friend's home or overindulging at church covered dish dinners. I admit I enjoyed the pampering and attention––now it's real life again. 

So what is furlough? Many missions now replace the word "furlough" with the term "home assignment." That's understandable. Missionaries are home to do another job––visiting their supporters and churches. However, I still prefer the word furlough because it is defined as a temporary leave of absence from the job you are doing. Missionaries desperately need time apart. I'd classify our time in the States as both––furlough, leaving our work on the field, and also home assignment, coming home to inform our supporters of the work on the field. Contrary to most thinking, furlough is not a time of rest but another part of the job.

Furlough or home assignment is fun! It is a state of frenzy. It is fabulous. We had five months of travel, meals in homes and nice restaurants (Wendy's and McDonald's too), covered dish dinners, and encouraging meetings and visits galore. It was all invigorating and encouraging. And, it was exhausting and demanding. But, it was a spectacular time! Then suddenly, it's over. How's that make you feel? Let down? Sad? Relieved? Rejuvenated? Exhausted? Blessed? All of the above?

Times in the States for missionaries may not be a time of rest, but it is a time of refreshment and reconnecting. It is needed. But, you don't have to be a missionary to experience all of these emotions. Furlough can be any time period in life when you are on the mountaintop. But then, you have to descend the mountain and enter real life again. What does that feel like? Consider it to be like jumping off that mountaintop and spiraling downward instead of heading step by step, down the trail you scaled up oh so swiftly and without difficulty. 

The mountaintops and the valleys are real life to all of us, but mostly, we live somewhere in between. On the mountaintop we soar, sparkle, and shine for God. In the valley we pause, pray more, and ponder. Somewhere in between the two, we call that daily life. We can't always soar or we'll eventually crash. Neither can we experience the valley times constantly or we will despair and give up. Both draw us closer to God. Our faith grows, and we glorify God and tell of His wondrous works in the mountaintop experiences and in the valleys. However, the everyday path of daily living is where we spend most of our time––just ordinary people serving an extraordinary God. Shouldn't we glorify God in the everyday tasks also?

Life is never boring with God. He planned it that way to meet our every need. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens;" Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) Aren't you thankful life is seasoned by God? Never too much, never too little, always just right––perfectly seasoned by a loving God.

* To be continued: "Ordinary People ~ Extraordinary Friends"